Written in Stone

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.

In a London, England cemetery:
Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.

Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.

A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
( guess they did not have personal ads then)

A lawyer’s epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.

Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880’s. He’s buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in   Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.

In a Georgia cemetery:
“I told you I was sick!”

John Penny‘s epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.

On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June
Jonathan Fiddle
Went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell‘s grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away
Owin’ more
Than he could pay.

  • Someone in Winslow, Maine didn’t like Mr. Wood:
    In Memory of Beza Wood
    Departed this life
    Nov. 2, 1837
    Aged 45 yrs.
    Here lies one Wood
    Enclosed in wood
    One Wood
    Within another.
    The outer wood
    Is very good:
    We cannot praise
    The other.

  • On a grave from the 1880’s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
    Under the sod and under the trees
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there’s only the pod:
    Pease shelled out and went to God.

  • The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
    Who was fatally burned
    March 21, 1870
    by the explosion of a lamp
    filled with “R.E. Danforth’s
    Non-Explosive Burning Fluid”

  • Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
    Born 1903–Died 1942
    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
    the car was on the way down. It was.

  • In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
    Here lies an Atheist
    All dressed up
    And no place to go.

  • In a cemetery in England:
    Remember man, as you walk by,
    As you are now, so once was I,
    As I am now, so shall you be,
    Remember this and follow me.

  • To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
    To follow you I’ll not consent,
    Until I know which way you went.


  • But does he make house calls?
    Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas:
    Office upstairs