Relatively Speaking

 Relatively Speaking

When marriage is outlawed only outlaws will have in-laws.

When you marry, your family tree can become a forest.

To a genealogist, EVERYTHING is relative!

50% of my forefathers were female.

Of course, a miser is hard to live with, but he sure makes a fine ancestor!

Can a first cousin, once removed, return?

Add to your Genealogy the fun, easy way. Have Grand Children!

He ain’t heavy–He’s my brother’s aunt’s sister’s husband.

Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!

After 30 days unclaimed ancestors will be adopted.

Any family tree produces some lemons, nuts and bad apples.

My problems are all relative

At last a chance to make my skeletons dance!

I think my family tree is a few branches short of full bloom.

“I Am My Own Grandpa”

Many many years ago when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter, who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law, and changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother, for she was my father’s wife.

To complicate the matters worse, although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow’s grown-up daughter who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father’s wife then had a son, who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson, for he was my daughter’s son.

My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife, she’s my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it, it simply drives me wild.

For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!!

author unknown